Prevailing wisdom

I recently found out that 2  colleagues from another department that we have been working very closely with for the A380 Project, recently got promoted.

Now I am not jealous of the fact that they got promoted as they both were solid representatives of their department, but to note that promotion could still be had in this trying financial times in our company was surprising. We were told that no promotions would be possible, or any allowance dispensation or higher pay grade acting positions would be allowed in the need to limit operating costs.

So how did these 2 friends of mine get theirs?

I came to know that ultimately they both had leaders who believed in their contribution, abilities and potential. These leaders felt it was important to fight for what is right and came up with solid justifications to the defense of my 2 colleagues. 

The thing that is pissing me off is that, for our department, many who were promised position upgrading, allowances or acting positions were ultimately given nothing. All of our former benefits were removed and yet we still gave our best to the company, for the hope that we could be rewarded in the future.

I know that a job well executed, is itself a reward, but it is hard to swallow, when in our own departmental shores, our leaders merely paid lip service. Promises that were made and dangled ended being nothing more than morning mist. Sure, there is always the possibility that my direct leaders have tried to get us what we were promised, but I cant shake the negative feeling.

I  am upset that I, being of this age, after all I have experienced, still held on to the ideal that a good leader will nurture and reward performing staff. I cant believe I actually fell for one of the oldest professional tricks in the book, the dangling of the proverbial carrot, when there was actually none to be had.

Our company recently went through yet another divisional reorganisation that resulted in our department being placed under a different master. The work is to remain, for the most part, dealing in creating new products, either service-based or actual physical offerings, just under a new division's umbrella. I have gone through several of this kinds of upheavals before and it has turned out fairly well.

But, I cannot go being made to feel like a spare wheel, to be used when critically needed but relegated to the dark confines of the car boot after they are done. It is affecting my morale where performing any task to the same high standards I hold has become increasingly difficult. I have become cynical, angry and reluctant to share my thoughts, knowledge and expertise. I begin to doubt my own professional value and self worth. This terrifies me.

I firmly believe that any knowledge and experienced one has gained, should be paid forward by sharing with another who can use the skills.

There is this adage, that employees leave a company due to bad managers, and that people stay due to good managers.

In the future, if I do become a leader myself, I pray that I will spare my team members the same hurt and dishonour, as nothing ruins an employee more than a leader who doesn't care. Apathy. It should not only be about getting the work done. It should be about polishing individual diamonds in the rough to a brilliant shine, worthy of recognition.

My dissatisfaction has kindled into a deep seated anger, slow burn, and it has strengthened my resolve to seek other opportunities. I need to find myself in a less toxic environment, self-created & imposed or otherwise, and do other things.

I need to escape this downward spiral of self doubt and negativity.

I must prevail.