All is not always what it seems

On my home from work yesterday, I stopped by at a Mamak restaurant (my usual haunt) to buy some food for my family. After ordering what I wanted, I went next door to get some wet cat food for a couple of the strays I saw.

I chanced upon an elderly Indian man sleeping on the covered pathway. He looked ragged and his only belonging was an old umbrella. There he was lying on the cold cement floor.

I was unsure of what I should do, and after a moment, shrugged the awkward feeling off.

Proceeded to the Mamak place and waited for my order to be packed. After paying for the bill, I felt bad about just leaving the sleeping old chap like that. He could be hungry or sick or something of the like, and I did not feel right to walk away. 

Tried to wake the man and found he was really fast asleep. 

Maybe I should wad some change into his hand so he can get a meal when he finally wakes? Do i buy some food and leave it for him? Do I ask for a favour from the restaurant to give him a meal on my tab? Why wasn't anyone trying to help this guy? How can anyone look away and not care?

I approached Aziz, my Mamak waiter friend and offered him some money to buy the old man some food after he wakes. Then came the truth.

Apparently the old chap is hugging the floor because he was stone drunk and thus sleeping off his alcohol fueled stupor.

All good samaritan desires totally left and I went home.

*******

How on earth did my sense of pity and care for a fellow man disappear the moment I found out he was drunk? Does it mean inwardly I label all drunkards as simply people who do not deserve pity and care because they did it to themselves by chugging on too much alcohol? That therefore they disgraced themselves and thus undeserving of respect?

So what about druggies? Poverty stricken thieves?

I found it disturbing that I did an about turn on my earlier impulse. Does that mean I wasn't 'Ikhlas' to begin with? And wanting to donate just so that others could see my charity? That Razee is noble and an all round nice guy?

Ugh.... A quandary.