He has passed on, quietly yesterday evening at approximately 9.45pm. Shortly after news of his passing was communicated by traditional and social medias.
It is strange news to receive, akin to receiving the news of a death of a loved but distant relation.
I was doing something completely mundane that moment. Yet the news, once I confirmed it, brought many levels of feelings. First was a kind of relief that he has passed, as he had been unwell for a fairly long time. Death would be a relelase from that state.
Then, I came to thinking about my late uncles, aunts and even the aged living ones. I realized that I dont know them that well, but miss them I do. I can always recall the little things about them - the smiles, the soft yet wrinkled hands, their sweet perfumes, their kid-like exuberance when with us and their laughs. Oh their laughs.
Then I am reminded of my dad. A wave of emotion sweeps over me. Like a wall of crushing bricks.
Stunned I am. I experience again and again this same reeling emotion. Could it be that humans are supposed to touch other lives like that? That at the point when we ourselves pass on, someone somewhere will remember our kindness and weakness? The very things that make us humans?
Surely life isnt about groping in the dark. We have been given the good Book, parents, siblings, extended families, teachers, friends, colleagues and acquantainces and even misunderstood enemies. All these are to shape and colour our lives with experiences and learnings.
The best that we can do is to always look inside and not doubt, but find the resolution to keep improving ourselves, find that dream, pursue that profession, succeed at that task.
And never ever stop believing that we can do so much more. That is the lesson I learned and hold dear.
Thank you Allahyarham Tuan Guru Datuk Nik Aziz Nik Mat. I dont know you at all, but I miss you already.
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